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Assertiveness

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Assertiveness is a skill taught by many personal development experts and psychotherapists, and the subject of many popular self-help books. It is linked to self-esteem and considered an important communication skill.

As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is distinguished from aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries, their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts.

Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to harm or otherwise unduly influence them. They are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else.

Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by not being afraid to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others; but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. They are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive incursions.

Tuesday

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Helping a Child Build
More Self-Confidence



More than 60 percent of students fare poorly in school, not because they are not intelligent, but because they suffer from an acute lack of self-confidence, reveals a recent study by a psychiatrists group in the UK.

Lack of confidence is due to lack of self-esteem. By the age of five, children develop a sense of self-esteem. A child with self-esteem will have confidence to make friends, do new things, take risk and he\she generally succeeds in life.

But a child with low self-esteem needs external support to achieve success. That means, you must make conscious efforts to build your child s level of self-esteem and confidence.

  • The first thing you should do is not to set high targets for his achievements.
  • The second thing is not to make comparisons with other children in school or in your neighbourhood.
  • Accept your child as he is, and then start working.

Believe in your child and make him feel that he is a worthwhile, lovable individual. Give positive feedback and praise. Tell him that you have achieved a task that was hard. Reassure him that the small mistake he might have committed during the course of the work was immaterial.

Do not criticise him. That will damage his confidence. You can be critical of his unwelcome behaviour, but never suggest that he behaved in a particular fashion because he was stupid. Listen carefully to what the child has to say.

  • Do it again even if you are hearing it from him the 100th time. Acknowledge your child's feelings and help him express his problem verbally.
  • Respond frequently to show that you are listening.
  • Give positive prompts.

Focus on the strengths, not the weaknesses of your child. Respect your child s interests, even if they are not agreeable to you. Take a genuine interest in your child s friends too. Learn what is happening at school.

Accept any insecurities your child expresses as genuine, even if they look trivial to you. Never brush them aside. If you do, the child will lose confidence in you and stop telling it to you. Encourage independent activities even if they are trivial. When he succeeds in such things, it gives a great boost to his confidence.

Sometimes, your child will need to learn by his mistakes. Allow him to do it. Never laugh at your child; but laugh with him.

Focus on your child s small successes. Young children are well aware of their inabilities and if you constantly point them out to them, they will lose their confidence all the more.

When the child fails to accomplish something, never say I told you that you were not able enough to do it. Such comments make your child feel even worse than what he felt while suffering the failure.

Instead, say never mind, you tried, but could not do it merely because of bad luck. Try again, you will succeed.

Ensure that your child does not overhear your honest opinions about him if it is adverse. That will damage his urge to improve.

  • Negative things you say about yourself can also damage your child s confidence, because children learn a great deal from adults.
  • Never express before children your inability to face situations or handle pressure etc, lest they get to feel that you really are not able to handle life's challenges yourself.

This will not constitute an optimistic example for your child. Use words carefully even when you are irritated or disgusted.

Negative remarks expressed in such moments make children believe they are useless and unwanted. Remarks suggesting that you do not love are damaging.

So are aggressive shouting and swearing. Have the courtesy to say sorry if you have said something or did anything which you should not have.


Friday

Another blog of mine
was just reviewed by a blog
called Flock Entrprize:


Blog Critique #5

Aching Back Relaxed


Got some sore pains in the middle of your back that your just dying to get rid of? Dont know what to do or how to treat it? Just visit this blog and you will find out all the information you need to know from a 10 year profesional. Just sitting and reading some of the posts makes me want to keep up with this blog and try out some of the ways to relieve pain. Onto the template of the blog, I like how you have put you own mix into the sidebars and have even put in some google ads. It all looks pretty decent, except for the one small long and skinny Ad which with Firefox createst a horizontal scroll bar, which I'm not really a fan of. Mixing it up with Amazon and some other ads for other sites brings a cool look. Some of the alternating colors in the posts I'm also not really a fan of, but if that floats you boat than make sure to bring the paddle. Overall I like the site and its unique flavor and content. A job well done.

Wednesday

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Quotes to help you
assert yourself!


"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

- Buddha


"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson


"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."

- Albert Einstein

Sunday

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Some really good news:

2 of my blogs were reviewed

on "Critique My Blog" this week,

and here's the review----


Paint some happy trees!




Both blogs are about positive energy.
The posts are inspiring and thought
provoking and the goal is to help the
reader succeed in life. The photos in
the waterfall blog are great and make
me want to walk right through some
of them to feel the mist. Both blogs are
worth a look as the posts are well written
and helpful.

Thursday

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Ask Andy

All about Assertiveness and how it helps you Succeed



Dear Andy

Why can't I meet a girl who is confident about herself and has a great smile, someone who is fun, assertive, daring, likes to have a little adventure, a girl with a great laugh, a caring personality?
Why Can't I Meet?

Dear Why Can't I Meet?

That girl is out there and you might have already met her. You need to be certain that you are projecting these qualities that you're looking for.
Are you confident in your expression of yourself to new people you meet? Are you fun, assertive, even a bit daring? Something tells me that you are adventuresome, laugh a lot, and have a caring personality. So you simply need to express what you want, and she may even find you.


Dear Andy

I know there is
no reason for an assertive woman to feel less attractive, lacking in empathy, or not be very likeable. There is no reason why a woman can't feel assertively feminine, but a small voice, maybe from childhood, is always telling me to tone my naturally assertive nature down a bit. Should I listen?
Should I Listen?

Dear Should I Listen?

First you need to look and analyze before you listen. If you and others are seeing an assertively feminine woman truly, and perhaps only your best friends will level with you on this, then you can follow your natural assertive manner.
But, if the feedback from yourself, after some careful examination, and others indicates you are too demanding or worse abrasive in your interactions with others, then you might pay some heed to that small voice.

Sunday

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Because no-fear public speaking
and successful assertiveness

relate to self-esteem and self-confidence,

today I am suggesting books closely related to those topics by two of my favorite authors:

Gayle and Hugh Prather


Morning Notes by Hugh Prather


The Little Book of Letting Go by Hugh Prather

Shining Through by Hugh Prather

Spiritual Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather

How to Live in the World and Still Be Happy by Hugh Prather

I Will Never Leave You by Gayle and Hugh Prather

Spiritual Parenting by Gayle and Hugh Prather

Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather

Thursday

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