Assertiveness

The aim of assertiveness is to find the best possible solution for all people. It's about finding 'win:win' solutions. Assertiveness sees everyone as equal with equal rights and equal responsibilities.

Assertiveness increases the chances of our needs being met. If we are able to tell people what we want without becoming aggressive they will be more likely to help us. Also, if they can't help us and we are able to accept that without becoming aggressive they will remain friends.

II Assertiveness allows us to remain in control. We can decide for ourselves what we want to do and then seek out opportunities to do it – or to do something similar. It puts us back in the driving seat.

III Assertiveness brings greater self-confidence. As we learn to take control and see what we can achieve our confidence increases. This in turn increases our feelings of self worth and self esteem. We begin to feel better – more effective.

IV Assertiveness lets us have greater confidence in others. This is because it also helps others to state their needs and wants. By dealing honestly and fairly with them we encourage them to do the same with us.

V Assertive people have more friends. As we begin to treat people more fairly they begin to trust us, to like us and to want to spend more time with us. We make friends who truly respect us instead of walking all over us (passivity) or fearing us (aggression).

VI Reduced stress. The more in control we feel the less stressed we feel. We don't need to worry about doing things we'd rather not. We don't have to let other people control us. Nor do we have to worry about trying to control other people. We have the power to choose our own destiny.