Ask Andy

All about Assertiveness and how it helps you Succeed

Dear Andy

Why can't I meet a girl who is confident about herself and has a great smile, someone who is fun, assertive, daring, likes to have a little adventure, a girl with a great laugh, a caring personality?
Why Can't I Meet?

Dear Why Can't I Meet?

That girl is out there and you might have already met her. You need to be certain that you are projecting these qualities that you're looking for.
Are you confident in your expression of yourself to new people you meet? Are you fun, assertive, even a bit daring? Something tells me that you are adventuresome, laugh a lot, and have a caring personality. So you simply need to express what you want, and she may even find you.


Dear Andy

I know there is no reason for an assertive woman to feel less attractive, lacking in empathy, or not be very likeable. There is no reason why a woman can't feel assertively feminine, but a small voice, maybe from childhood, is always telling me to tone my naturally assertive nature down a bit. Should I listen?
Should I Listen?

Dear Should I Listen?

First you need to look and analyze before you listen. If you and others are seeing an assertively feminine woman truly, and perhaps only your best friends will level with you on this, then you can follow your natural assertive manner.
But, if the feedback from yourself, after some careful examination, and others indicates you are too demanding or worse abrasive in your interactions with others, then you might pay some heed to that small voice.