Don't Let Negative Self-Talk
Dent Your Self-Confidence !


Developing more self-confidence and self-esteem has been a consistent theme of this blog. There are so many reasons why that is important and why it's the best gift you can give yourself today or any day. Like winning a race or getting an A+ on a final exam, it just makes you feel good and so much better about yourself.

Those good feeling allow you to face the next challenge, problem or opportunity with more strength and self-assurance to insure your next victory. So, today and in the coming days in this blog we'll develop a plan, a paint by the numbers, if you will, to be certain you are becoming more confident and feeling more self-esteem each day. It will be fun and feel almost as good as winning that race.

First, you should learn to be alert to the self-talk that goes on in your head, as it does in everyone's brain. If the conversation is negative, if you see you're putting yourself down or calling yourself negative names, the stop. Stop when you hear that negativism and oppose it with the facts about your own worthy self. You deserve to love yourself first among all people.

Next, promise yourself to silence the inner critic, which perhaps you learned from too severe parenting or wherever. Oppose that negative self-talk by building yourself up as a coach on a sports team would build up his players in the locker room.

Root for your self. Be your own best cheerleader. More suggestions to come in the next blog, as to how you will learn to admire and appreciate your inner hero and live that for all to see. Why not, it's very attractive. Your friends may think you got a new hair style or started working out more. You will be more attractive for all to see.

A Note on Photos

For all who asked about getting photos,
I use free ones from yotophoto, they're
great and then I use

google free pic organizer

PICASA...... you can get that free

by clicking on the link at bottom
of this blog.

You can also click on the
photos to enlarge the picture.

Skills of an Assertive Person

One of the great skills of an assertive person is the ability to say "no". Be brief and to the point. Be honest. If you know an unwelcome request is coming your way practice saying "no" in advance. What are you going to say and do? If necessary, use the 'Broken Record Technique' where you just keep repeating your statement softly, calmly and persistently.

Don't confuse rejecting a request with rejecting the person making the request. Most people are happy to accept an honest "no" if it is expressed appropriately. The first time will be the hardest!

Practice the body movements of an assertive person. When standing, be upright and relaxed with open hand gestures. Relax your facial features and make firm and direct eye contact with whomever you are communicating. This does not mean that you spend the day grinning! Your facial expression needs to be appropriate to how you are feeling, so that you don't give out any mixed messages. If you are pleased, smile, but if you aren't so happy with the way things are, feel free to frown.

Show a willingness to explore other solutions than your own if necessary. Encourage creativity from all. "How can we solve this problem?" will encourage others to tap into their resourcefulness. Sometimes it just takes a bit of encouragement.

Weigh the costs. Telling other people how you feel also makes it easier for them to communicate their feelings to you. Assertiveness is about acknowledging that all opinions are important – "I matter and so do you".

By being passive or aggressive you will lose out. Being assertive costs nothing but brings many benefits. You will be able to communicate better, command respect and be listened to within respectful, negotiating relationships. Win-Win? Definitely!

About The Author

Kate Harper is based in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland. Check out her website http://www.harpercoaching.com .

Quotes on Self-Confidence


"Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control."

Richard Kline

"Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong."

Peter Mcintyre

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection."

Buddha

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

Albert Einstein

"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?"

Fanny Brice

"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality."

Les Brown

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes."

Sally Field

Assertiveness Begins
With Self-Esteem

Self-esteem requires being true to yourself, to your own genuine feelings and desires; otherwise you're a fake.

You can't have high self-esteem and truly respect yourself unless you are living your life honestly and in the way your deepest needs demand. Not what a parent, a pastor, or a friend or spouse thinks you should do, you can only build self-respect on the foundation of doing what your most honest self thinks you should do and be.

Again, Shakespeare said, approximately, to thine ownself be true, and as the night follows the day, you cannot be false to anyone else. For some that takes work, being true to yourself, and this article and the others in this blog will lead you to that vital goal.

The work starts with talking to yourself in your inner self-talk positively, affirmatively and being very careful not to let the negative slip in. Happily, as you talk to yourself in a more loving and positive way, you will speak that same way to others---making yourself more popular, desired and loved by others. Now isn't that a nice way to live.

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Good Advice


"About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all."

Rita Mae Brown quotes (American Writer, b. 1944)


"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " santiz

Dr. Seuss quotes (American Writer and Cartoonist best known for his collection of children's books. 1904-1991)


Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.
--Brian Tracy

Self-Confidence: New Friends Magnet Too


A famous actor once said in a commercial: "Self-confidence is very sexy, don't you think?" Of course, he was right.

When you've met someone and felt drawn to what you might call their magnetism, haven't they always projected a sense of self-confidence? They were magnetic because of a strong self image and were anything but passive.Such magnetism is the very thing that makes some, if not most, people popular. They have lots of friends because their confidence is attractive, even sexy, and draws people to them. Passive people seldom project that same kind of magnetism.

What can you do if you want to make more new friends? Be more self-confident, show people you like yourself and have a good self image. How? One way is being warm and open when you meet someone and looking them in the eyes.That sounds so simple, but many people do the opposite. They seem cold and their eyes look away because they lack self-esteem.

Interestingly, all of the above is true for someone making a speech: you want to project warmth and openness as you approach the speaking platform and look out at your audience. Passivity screams weak self image, unsure of yourself.

Also, every good speaker looks the audience in the eyes, one by one if in a small crowd, but even in a larger group the best speakers connect with their eyes, as well as their voices, thus projecting warmth and self-confidence.

That is not only successful, but also sexy, whether you want an audience of 1 or 100 to like and accept you.

This photo is Lake Louise in Banff Park
in the province of Alberta in Canada.


A Note on Photos

For all who asked about getting photos,
I use free ones from yotophoto, they're
great and then I use

google free pic organizer

PICASA...... you can get that free

by clicking on the link at bottom
of this blog.

Also, you can click on any of
the photos and enlarge them.

Surprise! Self-Congratulations Is a Key To Growing Self-Confidence


A few minutes of self-congratulations is anything but indulgent, it's the very least you deserve and the most helpful shield you can have against negative self-talk, which lowers self-esteem. Thanks yous and congratulations aren't just for others.


In fact, you'll draw others to yourself and hear them saying thank you for so many things if, indeed, you are diligent about congratulating yourself for successes. This counts toward your necessary daily inventory of self-confidence and savoring your many victories.

Savor and watch others be drawn to you like moths to the flame because self-confidence is very sexy, don't you think? Some consider it immodest to bask in the glittering glow of their own success.

So don't look too impressed with yourself, but inside give lingering consideration to another notch of success, another victory on the bedpost of your imagination.

A famous actress once said of her longtime partner in life that he woke happy every morning. If you wake and begin your daily inventory of the success and good in your life, you'll get a happy start to your day---even if you don't wake up with a famous actress in your arms.

You have something actually better: your own deeply appreciated self and why of all the people in the world shouldn't you love yourself? If you don't, you can't truly love anyone else.